do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
