Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
