Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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