You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
