first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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