So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
