girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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