I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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