Sponge bath it is.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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