I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
