I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
