actually, I'm a sock model
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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