you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
