broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
