1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
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