the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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