I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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