I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
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