went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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