My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
