My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize