She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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