The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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