The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Randomize
