no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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