I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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