Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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