i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
