who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I think we might need a safe word for this...
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
