Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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