too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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