just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
