ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
