Your face is a jimmy john
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
