I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
