the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
