i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
home. puking in laundry basket.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize