shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
My bed smells like the plague
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
