True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
