all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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