girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
