oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
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