Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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