i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
