Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I have feelings that need drinking.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
