i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
