I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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