Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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