If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
