oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
